BeChurch

Moved: Check Out My New Home At BeChurch.Net


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Hey guys! Just letting you know that the official move to my new doman ( bechurch.net ) is happening tomorrow. I'm so stoked!

If you forget and come here you don't need to worry though, because I will be setting up an automatic redirect sometime tomorrow morning that will take you to the >new url.

Please remember to update your links when you get there.

Thanks guys! You rock for putting up with me!


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

John Wimber once said that “the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” Now that I read that all written out… it doesn’t quite make as much sense as I thought it did before I wrote it down… Doesn’t matter…just play along and pretend it makes sense…

The reason I bring that up is that lately I’ve been feeling like I’m missing the main thing. I kind of feel like the core of my faith is being diluted by my theological wanking and all the time I spend trying to figure out how to make Christianity relevant and accessible to people like me.

The main thing I think I’m missing is a vital awareness of the power of what Jesus has done for us. It used to be something that I knew so intimately. It used to be on my mind from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep, but something has changed. I feel like the hope and power of the gospel message is eluding me and I’m starving to be confronted by the reality of it again.

I used to hear stories of how God changed someone’s life miraculously. I used to preach fearlessly and unapologetically about what Jesus did for me, whether I was standing on a street corner or sitting in a smoked out hippy flop house. Miracles were real and my hero Jesus could do anything that was thrown his way. I had faith to believe that when I sinned I had a loving God that I could run to who would forgive me and comfort me in my weakness. I had faith to believe that the Church was the beautiful bride of Christ and that one day she would emerge victorious.

What happened? Where did the innocence and the hope go? When did it leave me?

I think that it left when I came to the place where the gospel message became so ordinary and familiar to me that I could make a “gospel presentation” in my sleep. It left when time and the power of God built a wall between me and the sins of my youth, making it easy to forget where I came from. It left when I started getting frustrated at the way that my pastor would ask everyone to bow their head and pray “the prayer” every week at church. It left for me, it left for a bunch of my friends and now I feel like I’m a sinner with no hope and I don’t really have anything left to hold on to.

It’s not like I don’t believe it anymore. Not even close! I’ve always believed, that has never been a problem for me. It’s just that it’s not as vital in my life anymore. The gospel used to be my lifeblood and now I’m being sustained by a steady diet of deconstruction and theological theorizing. I think that I need to spend some more time focusing on Jesus and what his death really means. I need to recapture the wonder of life in Christ and rediscover the power of his resurrection. I don’t want to be hopeless anymore; I need something bigger and more powerful than me.

It’s really easy to get discouraged by the church and spend all of your time trying to fix things. It’s also really easy to focus on the broken stuff rather than on the things that are miraculous and a gift from God. It’s really difficult to admit that you’ve done it and that you need God to help you get back on track. That’s where I’m at. I just need forgiveness and hope and the power of God. I need Jesus to help me change my focus back on to what’s really important and what gives me life.



___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Not much of a rant really, more like an observation that I've been holding on to for a while.

I've just been wondering why it is that churches that are usually very "cutting edge" or "modern" in their regular Sunday worship all of a sudden become very traditional and religious looking around Christmas time. I've been to a bunch of churches that are normally pretty comfortable and cool that turn into a really bad Thomas Kinkade painting around the Christmas Season.

All of the services start to become more formal, they tone down the normally cool worship band and get more "responsible" and "respectable" people on stage, The pastor's messages start to start to sound more like a touched by an angel episode than his usual off the wall ramblings with object lessons.

I've never understood this. I thought it was just me going nuts when I first noticed it, but I keep seeing this year after year and my friends see it too so I'm starting to believe that it's not just me.

The explanation that I have gotten for this from different pastors is that Christmas time is a time when far more "non-Christians" come to church so we need to take advantage of the opportunity. It's a great chance for us to "Evangelize" since they're jumping into the nets, so to speak.

In other words, we need to give them a watered down, fake caricature of what our church services normally are so that we can "win them" to Jesus. We need special Christmas pageants that will wow them with our professionalism so that maybe we can prove that we are still worthwhile in society...Professionalism=relevance.

If you are normally excited and active in your worship of God then you better tone it down and become a bit more respectable. We don't want the "heathen" thinking that we Christians have any fun.

If your style is too "culturally relevant" you're going to need to hide the TV's and Dj and break out the shepherd costumes and manger so that people won't find out that we use culturally accessible media to proclaim our message.

If everyone normally comes to church in jeans and tshirts, we should all dress in suits and ties for this special once a year event. We wouldn't want to destroy the stereotype that Christians are all out of touch modern dress and ruin our natural association with Ned Flanders or the Church Lady.

What a waste of a great opportunity to be ourselves.

Unless.... Maybe "ourselves" aren't all that attractive..... In which case maybe it's time that we put all that money and time and energy into helping people in our churches become Christians that attract people to Jesus by our lives rather than by our professional Christmas programs.

Just a though.......Humbug.... :)


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Today is Indie Allies Meetup day again. I'm really excited about it. I love making the trip into the city to hang out. It makes for just over 3 hours of driving by the end of the night, but it's totally worth it.

I'm hoping tonight to have the chance to meet some of the bloggers that I read regularly. I'm also hoping that I get to see Ron Z again. He's always saying things that challenge me and he has so many great thoughts that I end up beating around in my head until the next time I see him. Can't forget Jocelyn either.


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

I've pretty much got my new blog site BeChurch.net up and running. All of my post are moved over and I've been double posting (here and there) for the last few days so that it's up to date.

I know it's a hassle to move but having my own domain and hosting will make this whole blogging experience way better for me and anyone who likes to read my blog. It means better access to archives, tracking back, permalinking, and all that other stuff that is all the rage with the kids now-adays. It is also giving me the chance to include video, audio, and a resource library of essays and handouts that I have put together.

I'll be adding a redirect script in the next few days so that any traffic that comes here will be automatically sent to BeChurch.net. Since the new site is pretty much set you can feel free to keep up with the blog over there if you want to (if you don't mind some formatting tweaks for the next few days) but, like I said, you've got a few more days here until I officially move over and set up the redirect.

I know you've already thought of this, but make sure that you update your links to my new site (It's really easy if you have blogrolling) and tell anyone who might be interested in linking to me to do the same.

Thanks for putting up with me guys!

Jamie



___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Well... Weekend's over. It's almost seems like it never happened. Last week was the week from hell and I could really have used a good vacation to get over it.

I don't know what happened to make last week so bad, but it was like something was just let loose on everyone in the Thursday Group. Most of us came through it pretty beaten and bruised.

I come from a charismatic / empowered evangelical (Vineyard) background so spiritual stuff isn't all that new to me, but this was something that I have never really experienced before. It was as though there was some sort of concerted effort to harm us. (way too much stuff to just be regular life junk). It's really hard for me to say that because I'm not one to blame everything on the enemy, but this was different.

I don't think I have ever felt quite as depressed and ready to give up as I did the other day. It was as though every ounce of happiness and strength had been sucked out of me. I found myself lying in bed on Friday night unable to sleep and unwillingly walking through every single one of my faults and weaknesses in my mind. I also felt torn up by all of the junk that has been happening to eveyone else in the group. It wasn't that I was feeling their struggle, but I was frustrated because everything seemed so hopeless. By about 2 am I was ready to just throw in the towel and off myself. I couldn't take it any more. I was practically in tears from the sorrow and frustration.

I'm not one to get depressed like that. I get bummed out and frustrated every once in a while, but this was harsh. To have thoughts of suicide and dispair like that is not something that I am used to. Especially for no real reason! It's not like there's tons of bad stuff going on in my life.

I toughed out the night and made it through the last couple of days, but it was only by the grace of God. I met with a couple of other people from the group last night and I found out that they have all been going through similar (sometimes way worse) stuff as me. It feels like someone is walking among us and hacking us down like someone using a scythe to cut down long grass in a field. It's just messy.

Right now I am wondering what my next course of action should be. I know that prayer is definately at the top of the list, but I am also concerned about how I should deal with this in the group. I have been putting a lot of time aside to meet with whoever needs it to make sure that everyone is supported throught the crap they are facing and I have also tried to keep our house as open as we can. I want to make sure that people feel like there's a place for them to step out of the junk they are going through (sanctuary?). But I don't know what else there is right now. Maybe we just stick it out and wait and trust that the storm will blow over soon.

I hope I'm not coming across like a big drama queen. I don't mean to. It's not as chaotic or dramatic as I think it sounds. It's more like a heaviness that just won't go away. I just hate to see my friends stuggling like they are and it just seems like they are struggling way more than normal... I'm struggling way more than normal! If you feel like praying we'll take it!

Pray especially for a girl in our group who's mom (for no real reason) has refused to let her come any more. She is a real important part of our group and it would really suck to have her leave.



___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Yesterday was thursday group day! YAY! I feel like things are finally starting to come together for us. One of the things that has been on my heart quite heavily for about the last year has been to see people in the church move out of a place of consuming and into a place of contributing. This doesn't mean that I'm trying to get volunteers to do stuff, but that I long to see people really begin to share their hearts and personalities with the church.

I was really encouraged last night when a couple of people in the group told me that hey have vision to start sharing some of their passions and talents with the group. I'm encouraged not because we need anything done, but because these people want to share really unconventional things that are totally unique to them.

One person really loves playing with numbers and doing math (I know... wierd, hey?) so I encouraged her to think of ways that she could use that passion to somehow build up the group or glorify God. No restrictions on how... I left that up to her. And she is actually doing it! Yesterday she shared that she loved that idea and was finding a ton of joy in putting together some sort of number project that she wanted to share with us. She wouldn't say what it is yet, but it somehow involves numbers, statistics and the bible....Go figure! I don't know what God is planning on doing with it, but I am so stoked to know that she is giving a big chuck of herself to the group.

It is just so cool!

I have always had such a heart for this kind of thing. I have always wanted to belong to a community where everyone felt free to contribute in a way that reflected who they are and what they love. I am so thankful to God that he has sent so many cool people to our group that are willing to step out and follow their dreams.

One of the core beliefs that I hold is that people in our generation need to regain a sense of hope and of purpose. A big part of my day is spent thinking about how to help the people in our group discern and then accomplish the awesome things that God has called them to. Seeing people practice and start doing it for real is such a huge encouragement to me. Something that I really needed after a sucky day like yesterday.


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

HELP!!! I'm drowning.... I can't figure out how to get this moveable type thing working. My domain and hosting is all good and I got MT installed. I just can't wrap my head around the configuration stuff. I have someone helping, but I think I need even more help. I'm pretty sure that my MT.cfg file is done properly, I just have no clue what to do now that I have MT running. How do I set it up. How do I configure it? What's the deal with core setup and what goes in these "local archive path" etc... boxes?

I know it's kind of lame to blog about my blogging struggles, but I there's lots of MT users out there who might be able to help out... and trust me.. I need it!


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

I know that I promised to post something by the end of the day, but I just can't today. I'm having a really rough time and can't really focus too much. Just pray for me if you think about it and maybe things will be better tomorrow.


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Today looks really crazy... but I promise I will post something by the end of the afternoon. Until then you can have fun playing with Mr. Picassohead.


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Thanks to the wonderful people at oneandone.com and a really cool guy who offered to help. i will shortly be moving bechurch.blogspot.com into moveable type and onto my own domain bechurch.net. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I've been way to intimidated by the process and all the technical junk that goes with it. Finally the opportunity has come up to do it for free and with some help so I can't help but jump at the chance.

Anyway, the move probably won't happen for a little while (I still need to learn MT and figure out the whole hosting thing) so no need to get too excited yet, but I thought I'd let you in on the news.


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

The last year has been pretty tough. They say that the first year of marriage usually is, but I never dreamed things would be this hard. It’s not that we are having a difficult time relationally, it’s that both Em and I really want kids, and there are times when it doesn’t really look likely.

From the day we decided to get married we have dreamed of having a family (we both really love kids), but on our honeymoon in Thailand Em got really sick with some mystery illness. When we got back the doctors did some tests and surgeries and found out that the illness was linked to some genetic problems with her reproductive system. We also found out that my plumbing is kind of screwy and that I don’t work all that well either. The last few months have been a real roller coaster of emotion as we have struggled with facing the death of our dreams and also some little miracles and victories. Our chances of conceiving have gone up lately thanks to some restorative miracles that God has done, but it has still been a rough way to start an exciting new marriage.

Anyway, I guess I’m bringing this up because right now I’m waiting to hear if we were even successful in conceiving this month. Every month there is the chance that God has blessed us with a child, so we hold our breath to see if it worked out for us. Up till now we have always ended up disappointed and broken. I don’t know what I expect this time. I don’t want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed, but I also can’t live without that hope. It’s just who I am.

Since we have been going through this stuff I have spent a lot of time thinking about God’s love and how our pain fits into his plan. I have often been told that God uses suffering to build character in me, but why? What is the big deal with character? Does it really matter in eternity whether I have strong character or not? What about those who die before developing good character?

I think that a lot of people have a wrong understanding of why God allows suffering and what character really means. You see, most people have the idea that God allows suffering in our lives so that we can get tougher and one day be able to face difficult trials without flinching. Kind of like the more we suffer the less suffering affects us. One day we will be superman and not even notice it when it comes. That is strong character.

I think that the truth of the matter is quite the opposite. I believe that God uses suffering as a way to Soften us rather than toughen us. I don’t mean to say the he uses it to break us down or anything, I just mean that God doesn’t want a tough guy… he wants a sensitive, honest guy.

God gave me a picture of a boy riding on a bicycle in his driveway. He falls off of his bike and scrapes his knee. What is the first thing that a normal child would do after this happens? The kid would run inside to Mom or Dad to be comforted, right? What do you think a dysfunctional child would do? He would fall off his bike and run off to the playground by himself to nurse his own wound. He doesn’t want his father’s comfort because of fear or pride. Sometimes he will even get angry at his father and blame the fall on him for giving him the bike.

A lot of the time I am the dysfunctional child. When I face pain I try to be the big strong man who sucks it up and doesn’t get shaken. I don’t need help, I have faith and character. The idea of character that people have taught me to believe has helped make me to become more and more like that dysfunctional kid. When suffering comes I try to grit my teeth and bear it like a Christian of strong character should, but I have been robbing myself of the comfort that is available to me.

You see… suffering isn’t an opportunity for me to show God how strong and tough I am, but a chance for God to show me how loving he is. If only I were soft enough to ask for his comfort. God is not afraid of a mess. He can handle my fear and my pain, he can even handle a few tears. He’s not a God who is afraid of pain... he went to the cross after all. I just think that most of the time we are blind to the fact that he is there for us. We turn our backs like the dysfunctional kid and run off to do it ourselves. I believe that God wants us to be open and honest with him. Admit our pain and admit our anger so that he can be the one to comfort us.

God has taken suffering and redeemed it. He has taken that which is the scourge of human existence and turned it into a healing balm. When I face pain I have a choice… I can either run away from God and be tough (or angry at him), or I can make the decision to run to God, who like a loving father, will comfort me in my pain. If we do that for our kids, how much more will Our Father in Heaven do that for us. That is real character… the ability to choose to depend on God for our comfort in times of pain. That is the type of character that makes a difference in this life and prepares us for the reality of the life to come… living in the presence of our loving Father in heaven.

If you're interested in seeing my wife's take on all of this she has a post on her blog about it. Her and I are dealing with this in very different ways and it's cool to get that kind of perspective. I have posted some more thoughts about this topic in her comments as well.


___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

If – Church growth is God calling and adding people to His Church. (Often by partnering with us)

And – People who write books on church growth say they believe this

Then – How come when people from different faiths borrow principals from these same books (servant evangelism, seeker sensitive marketing, purpose driven programming, etc…) they achieve the same or (often) slightly better results in growing their organizations?

Are we missing something?

How does God fit into it all if we can be just as “successful” without him being actively involved?

I think it's time for some serious questioning of motives and methods in church growth...




___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

A few weeks ago I incorporated something new into the communion service at our house church. We eat a meal every week, but at least once a month we do a bread and wine communion as part of it (grape juice lately due to several brothers and sisters who are weak to alcohol). The thing I added the other week was a great big chunk of wasabi before communion. I got the idea from the bitter herbs in the passover meal.

I asked everyone in the church to complete the sentence..."without Jesus I am...." and we went around the room hearing the answers. We heard everything from alcoholic to greedy to racist... you name it....someone claimed it.

After we all shared who we are without Jesus we all partook of a huge nugget of holy wasabi (That stuff is pretty gross when you take a decent amount of it). As we took it I explained to the group that the wasabi was supposed to be symbolic of the sting of sin in our lives. Before we met Jesus we were slaves to this sin and it was not only gross and negative for us but also gross for God. Sin left a bad taste in our mouths and in God’s as well. I let everyone experience the wasabi for a few minutes and meditate on the sin in their lives.

Then, when most people were really dying we took the bread and finished the rest of the communion. I thought it was really cool to see the way that the elements brought relief from the gross taste of the wasabi. It was a real parallel to the way that Jesus’ death on the cross brought us relief from sin and death.

I originally wanted to use the bitter herbs, but I was looking for something a little more easily recognizable that still tasted like crap. The only problem was that some of the people in the group really liked it and kind of missed out on the whole experience of it all. But I’m sure they got the jist of it.

Just an idea for anyone who's interested in trying something a little different.



___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___

Here's a great article from a few years back that I just stumbled on again. It's from GQ magazine and it does an awesome job of painting a fair picture of Christian consumer culture in America (and probably Canada too).

I have always dreamed of being able to write an article like this, but there's no way I could have done it as well as this author. I think the power lies in the fact that he was truly open to learning more about Christian Consumer Culture (CCC) and not just ripping it apart from the start.

I know this one is an oldie, but it sure is a goodie!

If you're interested in seeing some of the Jesus Junk that ark culture has been pumping out in the last few years there is a great collection of stuff here.

More thoughts on this topic coming soon...




___ ___ ________ ____ __ ____ ________ ___ ___